Archive for October, 2006

Halloween is like Christmas for attention whores

Tuesday, October 31st, 2006

Lindsay Lohan was an ’80’s aerobics instructor whore who looked like she belonged on the set of Fame or Flashdance. She clearly loves the 80’s. And being slutty.

Paris Hilton as a policewoman whore. Although “whore” is more of a constant state of being for her and the only reason I know she’s wearing a costume […]

Divorce alert for Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe

Monday, October 30th, 2006

Another couple bites the dust!
The couple’s rep released a statement Monday morning to TMZ.com:
“We are saddened to announce that Reese & Ryan have decided to formally separate. They remain committed to their family and we ask that you please respect their privacy and the safety of their children at this time.”
Sources tell TMZ Witherspoon has […]

Nicole Richie collapses at L.A. night club

Monday, October 30th, 2006

TMZ.com reported that Nicole Richie passed out at Hyde nightclub in Hollywood early Sunday morning.
We’re told it occurred just before 2 a.m., when Richie passed out and fell to the floor. An employee approached Richie and her friends and said he was calling 911. Sources say they told the employee not to make the call […]

New York says “Meh” to K-Fed.

Monday, October 30th, 2006

It’s pretty pathetic when people can’t even be bothered to hate you because you’re so irrelevant, they just don’t care.
New Yorkers have sent that message loud and clear to Kevin Federline via flat-lining ticket sales to his gig promoting his new album, Playing With Fire, according to The New York Post’s Page Six:
SHOCKINGLY enough, no […]

oh, Oh, OH! It’s Meth Magic! You kno-o-ow!

Sunday, October 29th, 2006

Never believe it’s not so!
Lindsay Lohan had a crack-tastic Saturday night/Sunday morning, by the looks of this TMZ.com report:
At 6:45 am, a TMZ spy spotted Lindsay at Olive and Sunset in Hollywood, near a dog park. Lindsay was sitting in her parked black Cadillac Escalade and our spy, who was walking his dog, could see […]

Jay-Z REALLY doesn’t want to marry Beyonce

Friday, October 27th, 2006

All the banana-skirt shaking in the world ain’t gonna getcha that ring, B.
What’s a couple of million to a supersuccessful rapper if it means you can avoid buying an engagement ring, right?
The New York Post reports that Jay-Z gifted Beyonce with a Jean Michel Basquiat painting that cost “a couple of mil.”
Back. The Fuck. Up.
Let […]

The most hated, proud tampon-buying, underrated rapper ever.

Thursday, October 26th, 2006

Mr. Britney Spears, aka Kevin Federline, has shared his thoughts with Entertainment Weekly and People magazines on topics ranging from buying Britney’s tampons, to being widely hated by the public, to his aspiring rap career.
“I used to be embarrassed to go to the store and buy tampons, but that’s all past tense,” Federline told EW. […]

Are there “violently psychotic supermegabitch management” classes?

Thursday, October 26th, 2006

Naomi Campbell was arrested Wednesday for assault AGAIN, this time for attacking a woman in London who was her drug counsellor and badly scratching her “all over the face.”
This is the latest installment in the long line of assaults on her employees with her weapon of choice: cellphones. The Daily Dish reports on Naomi’s existing, […]

Parade of Fug: Moet & Chandon’s Masked Ball

Wednesday, October 25th, 2006

I didn’t know they still had masked balls anywhere, but the theme of this one seemed to be “Fugging Up Otherwise Elegant Evening Wear.” I don’t know who that fashionista is up there, but that thing looks like gold and silver are in a violent race to attack her face.
Witness Kate Moss and Pete […]

Jayden James sounds like a porn star name.

Tuesday, October 24th, 2006

Poor kid. As if being the offspring of the two dimmest bulbs in America isn’t bad enough.
TMZ.com must have, like, real reporters or something because they actually dug up a copy of Britney Spears’ and Kevin Federline’s second child’s birth certificate. The document confirms that it is a boy and his name is Jayden James. […]