I’m cryin’ and lyin’ on Tee-vay, y’all
Britney Spears, our favorite white trash trainwreck with no neck and linebacker shoulders, took to the airwaves again, this time in a ploy for public sympathy. In this interview with Matt Lauer, she denied the divorce rumors, insisted that paparazzi cross the line invading her privacy, and cried trailer trash tears that underneath all the public mistakes with her baby, she’s just “people” like us, y’all. All this while she’s smacking gum like a cow chewing cud, cause she’s classy and multi-talented like that.
How touching. Except that it’s all lies!
Bitch, we all know you’re gonna divorce that K-Fed loser, it’s just a matter of time, just admit it! And EVERYONE knows you’ve got a hell of a lot to learn about taking care of yourself, never mind a child! Just admit you made a shit load of mistakes cause you’re not the sharpest knife in the drawer, what with your mama pimpin’ you out at 16 for all the horny bastards in the world to do un-Christian things to your overtly, inappropriately sexualized image, and all.
Public sympathy is yours for the taking–Lawd knows you’ve earned it–but only if you’re honest, Britters!
P.S. Advice from one Ugly Crier to another: DO NOT CRY ON TV. It just makes you look worse and more unattractive than you already are. Trust me, I know…
What a hot 1-year-old mess. And I had the cuteness of infancy working for me. It’s NOWHERE NEAR as cute when you’re grown up, either…
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