Janice Dickinson, the writer: “I’m like a bonsai butterfly. I shoot from the hips.”
That’s Janice Dickinson, the self-proclaimed “world’s first supermodel” (in the 70’s), describing her writing style. In other words, she is off-the-charts insane. And always, always high. So someone gave her a book deal. And some poor guy named Chuck Shelton interviewed her about it.
On Britney Spears and Kevin Federline [the most ridiculous pot calling the kettle black scenario I’ve ever read]:
JD: Kevin Priceline. What a fucking asshole. What a fucking using, pond-scum leech.
CS: What about her? She hangs onto him.
JD: Well, he obviously bangs the living hell out of her. You know, what do they call sperm that hit? . . . I forgot. Kevin Priceline is probably packin’.
I never found him hot at all. But she’s a hick anyway. She needs to get hot again. Stop clomping around in those Malibu flip-flops.
She looked like shit [on Letterman]. What’s her problem? She needs me to style her. She needs to call me up. Britney . . . Call me up. She doesn’t need—she made a lot of little girls happy. But I. Don’t. Judge.
I would dip her in . . . I would tar and feather her first of all, tell her to dump that fucking hick husband of hers. She needs solid advice, and not from Hicksville.
And crazy-ass Janice Dickinson, human trainwreck extraordinaire is the one who’s gonna tell another younger human trainwreck how to get her life back in order! HAHAHA!! That gave me a stitch in my side from laughing so hard!
But seriously, this would be awesome! I would pay to watch Janice give Britney life lessons. Britney would be hooked on pills, booze and crack, running around saying how freakin’ FABULOUS she looks ALL IN THE SPACE OF A WEEK!! Television gold!!
Read the entire interview to experience the full depth of Janice’s insanity at The Book Standard. [via ONTD]