Whatchoo Lookin At

Or perhaps a victim of domestic violence?

I can’t decide, but it does remind me of that joke: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nuthin’, you already told her twice! Ah, that one never fails to make me chuckle.

Seriously, what the hell is wrong with her? Even her unflattering top, in all its caped glory, looks like a strait-jacket. Or a sequined muumuu. (She finally decides to cover up those DD’s of hers and this is what she chooses?)

Also notice how insanely happy Ashlee looks. I think it’s no coincidence that in all the pics where Jessica looks her most busted, Ashlee has a huge shit-eating grin, proportional to the degree of Jessica’s busted-ness. I guess I’d be pretty ecstatic too if I was once the sister so fug my parents wanted to keep locked up in the basement while parading Jessica around as an only child. How the fug tables have turned! But still, if I were Jessica I’d smack that smug look right off her face and remind her that daddy still loves me more!

The picture below makes me want to play a guessing game. Which do you think Jessica regrets more: Leaving Nick; the fact that her career blows and nobody likes her since she left Nick; that even her sister Fuglee Simpson is prettier and more successful than her; or that she just ran out of Xanax?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 27th, 2006 at 7:52 am and is filed under Celebrity Gossip, Jessica Simpson, Ashlee Simpson. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.