Lindsay Lohan loses $1 million at London airport
So this is turning out to be a deeeelicious week for schadenfreude. Justice and Karma are doing pretty well too. And I’m thisclose to pissing myself from the sheer joy. It’s like Christmas came early for me this year…
First Paris gets arrested for DUI. Now Lindsay is crying because she was too stupid to keep an eye on her obscenely expensive belongings. I’ll interrupt my celebration just long enough to bring you the details, courtesy of TMZ.com:
Scotland Yard tells TMZ a “theft of a bag at Heathrow Airport was reported to police by a 20-year-old woman.” Sources say the contents of the missing bag total upwards of $1 million.
“It is alleged that as the woman exited the Terminal One building, she noticed that an orange Hermès handbag was missing from her suitcase trolley.” The bag, according to police, contained “a quantity of jewelry.”
Lindsay’s rep, Leslie Sloane, confirms to TMZ the theft occurred and that Lindsay is extremely upset about the loss of personal belongings. “She is begging for the return of the items,” Sloane says. “She doesn’t care how she gets them back, she just wants her stuff back.”
The Hermès Birkin bag that was stolen also contained Lindsay’s much needed asthma medication.
Sorry to point out the obvious, but you know the “much needed asthma medication” is just her cocaine stash. No wonder she’s upset, just look at how distraught she is in these pictures!
I know this advice is too little, too late, but I usually leave my $1 million worth of jewelry at home. Or if I absolutely must travel with it, I at least have the foresight to put it in my most secret, most tender of body cavities!
Now, if you’ll excuse me, there’s a martini calling my name to celebrate these irresponsible, spoiled-stupid celebutards finally getting their comeuppance! Cheers!
Oh, and p.s., just to rub salt in her wounds, let me remind you of Lohan’s previous incident where she flashed her, um, firecrotch at the Venice Film Festival the day before. Very NSFW.
