Whatchoo Lookin At

Jessica Simpson is leading a one-woman brigade to make orange the latest, sexiest trend. Let’s see:

• Badly permed orange librarian hair?–Check!
• Obnoxious oompa-loompa shade of fake tan?–Check!
• Ill-fitting creamsicle colored dress that looks like it’s strangling her boobs and crushing her ribs?-Check!

Oh Jessica, whoever is telling you this looks good just HATES you and must delight in making you look like an ugly Orangutan. What? Ashlee said the dress looked “totally awesome” on you and recommended Autumn Sunrise as a “bitching” haircolor?Sigh.I guess it’s not your fault you aren’t the sharpest knife in the Simpson drawer. At least you’re still prett–oh, wait.

*update: it’s actually a wig from a new line she is endorsing, which is actually good news for clowns looking for a change from Ronald McDonald Red.

**2nd update: WTF is going on with the torpedo/pendulous tribal boob here!??!? It looks like it’s in a sling! Does anybody know CPR for boobs, cause those puppies might not make it!


This entry was posted on Monday, May 8th, 2006 at 5:23 pm and is filed under Celebrity Gossip, Boobies!, Jessica Simpson. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.