Whatchoo Lookin At

Yoko Ono alert! Paris Hilton’s video for her new single “Stars Are Blind” confirms what we already knew: She has no talent besides rolling around half-naked and mistakenly thinking she’s the hottest shit around. It’s basically a lame execution of the girl-and-guy-on-beach video formula, which was done much better by Madonna’s “Cherish”, Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Game,” Janet Jackson’s “Love Will Never Do (Without You),” Britney Spears’ “Don’t Let Me Be The Last To Know”…basically anyone and everyone before her.

I’d say she looks and sounds like crap, but that would be an insult to crap!

Bitch can’t dance, has no rhythm, and she can’t sing either: there are so many vocal effects on this song, it’s not even close to her real voice. Her real voice sounds like cats in heat, as evidenced by her horrid butchering of Happy Birthday to Hugh Hefner a month ago. [Caution: clip might cause your ears to bleed.]

On the positive side, no matter how many quick cuts they put in there, you can still totally see her wonky eye!

So the only good thing this video was good for was a few laughs and a nipple slip, because it’s not like the world has seen her NAKED IN A PORN VIDEO ALREADY. Still, let’s reminisce:

[BTW, here’s something VERY NSFW: 1 Night in Paris ]

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 6th, 2006 at 9:04 am and is filed under Celebrity Gossip, Paris Hilton. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.