Whatchoo Lookin At

I mean, that’s why you usually do Maxim, right? Cause your career needs a boost? Jessica Simpson shows off her jiggly lady parts in Maxim’s June issue so people will start paying attention to her for something other than her amazing ability to suck at her actual “job” as a singer, actress, professional idiot, what have you.

However, Jessica is amazing me with her ability to insist on wearing unflattering, cheap, ghetto-ass weaves that look like she snatched them right off P. Diddy’s mama Janice Combs’ head. Is this really turning guys on? Really? I guess nothing above the neck is really relevant to Maxim readers. Still, wouldn’t a paper bag over her head make for a sexier, more satisfactory wanking experience? Unless of course you want to be reminded of Mama Combs while spanking it…

Cause dayum! That shit could turn you to stone!

This entry was posted on Thursday, June 15th, 2006 at 10:19 pm and is filed under Celebrity Gossip, Jessica Simpson. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.