Jessica Simpson’s amazing technicolor dream dress
What in the name of psychedelic rainbows and unicorns is she wearing? That can’t possibly be a dress! It looks like something straight out of Mariah Carey’s deranged acid-induced dreams!!
And the tragic avocado colored sweater! Did she get cold or did she throw it on after someone snickered at how unsightly and alarming this dress looked? But I guess it does go perfectly with the chunky, towering $2 hooker platform heels.
Oh, Jessica! Is Pervy Papa Joe actually dressing you in the dark now instead of just watching you undress? Why is there no one on your payroll willing to tell you when you look ridiculous?
You work on coming up with answers to these very important questions. I have to go heal my eyes now…
