Memo to Tom Cruise: Girlfriend, white is NOT your color

Tom Cruise in his gay whites

If Tom Cruise’s major objective is to prove to the world that he is a completely heterosexual movie star and NOT GAY AT ALL, then he is going about it the wrong way. White blazer, tan sweater, white pants, and tan suede oxfords–and is he beat-boxing? Perplexing beat-boxing stance aside, maybe he was going for a metrosexual celebration of spring whites. Unfortunately, he’s begayed himself right into Miami Vice meets gay Eurotrash territory.

And I’m no fashion expert, but I’m thinking maybe a oiled up, bare-chested look with white hotpants and white cowboy boots might be less gay? Sure, you may want to sue me now Tom, but once you feel how deliciously those hotpants hug all the right parts, you’ll thank me. Trust me.

Below, Tom says, “Right back atcha!” to his Japanese fans at the MI:3 premiere.

Tom Cruise: Right back atcha!

Insert requisite phallic joke here.

Tom Cruise drums

2 Responses to “Memo to Tom Cruise: Girlfriend, white is NOT your color”

  1. Suri Suri Says:

    I like white, but I prefer him in the blue green suit

    He was dressed in white in A Few Good Men also.
    Nicholson call his character “fag” in a scene.
    Tom has being call gay in Eyes Wide Shut too.
    Actually, I think he is fueling the rumors, then he can sue. Smart boy! LOL

  2. Michelle Michelle Says:

    I did like the blue suit, but I love even more that it was posted under the headline “In The Closet” (it was a fashion police type of column–but still, HEE!)

    I call the blue suit look “The Gay Gatsby!”

    And you know, I loved him in the whites in A Few Good Men. Then he had to go and ruin it by going all crazy.

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